Waiting

I read Oswald Chambers' devotional this morning and focused on this statement:  "But one of the greatest stresses in life is the stress of waiting for God."  He describes the difference between perseverance and just "hanging on".  According to Chambers, "hanging on" can expose our fear of falling.  Lately, as I've been traveling down a road of "walking by faith and not by sight", I've felt myself hanging on for dear life.  My mind has been full of what-ifs!  Of course, that means my eyes are on the circumstances and my supposed strength or ability to accomplish them, as opposed to the One in whom I put my faith. 

Why can I have such strong faith for the big questions of life - suffering, sickness, etc. - and find my faith shakier in those circumstances close to my own heart?  Do I feel myself that far removed from suffering in the world?  It's "easier" to have faith in something farther off?  I pray not!!  I have had my share of suffering and hardship and have seen God's power and sovereignty in those times.  My faith has grown tremendously as a result of knowing my Lord has never abandoned me but has held me close.  That knowledge hasn't taken away the hardship or pain in the time of trial but it has kept me from falling - from being completely overwhelmed.  It brings to mind Isaiah 43:2:  "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."   God promises to be with us THROUGH the trials; the "fire" is still there but we're not consumed by it.

I believe that promise; I've experienced that promise!  So why is it still so difficult in the waiting?  The devotional goes on to say this: "If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified."  There it is: sanctification, transformation, stripping away 'self', dying to self.  Discipleship is costly.  But it's clearly a cost worth paying.  The Spirit is growing my faith; strengthening my ability to persevere - not just hang on. I know the God I serve - his promises are true, his plans and purposes for my life are perfect.  The theme verse God gave me for my Bible study is 1 John 3:1:  "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"  As his child, my loving Father disciplines and corrects me.  As The Messsage puts it:  "God is educating you . . . He's treating you as dear children . . . it's training, the normal experience of children" (from Hebrews 12). 

So, I will continue to walk "by faith and not by sight" but hopefully with stronger faith and perseverance and less hanging on for dear life.  "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"  (Psalm 27:14)