Matthew 14:10-21: He [Herod] sent and had John beheaded in the prison, and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus. Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.”They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” And he said, “Bring them here to me.”Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. What was it like to hear of the gruesome death of your cousin and not be able to mourn him? John was the herald of your coming, a man who boldly and unashamedly proclaimed the word he heard from your Father. He lived a life unlike other men, dedicated to the calling on his life. He proclaimed truth in spite of the threat of the authorities and suffered imprisonment and a horrible, cruel death as a result. When you heard the news of his execution, it must have been an in-your-face reminder of what was to come in your own life. John was your cousin. We don't know how much family time you had with each other but your heart mourned the loss of the man who was your kin. Your heart also surely mourned the sin-sickness that led to such a death. You knew more than we could ever imagine about the hearts of man and you must have mourned that spiritual deadness as well. It was only natural that you would want to go to a quiet place to be alone with your thoughts and your Father but that was not to be. Because you chose always to be about your Father's business, you responded to the needs of the people that had come in search of you. Thousands and thousands of people. How did you manage? I can't imagine the demands, the exhaustion, the spiritual impact as well as the physical impact of ministering to so many. You knew their hunger. They were spiritually hungry as well as physically hungry and you continued to pour out your living water and bread of life on their thirsty and hungry souls. Fully God and fully man, your body had to feel the extreme demands placed upon it and yet you continued to give of yourself. The grief was put aside in order to do what you came to do. Your love was poured out on that day just like so many other days and just like it was poured out on that cross. In your grief over a world that led to the loss of a man such as John, you poured out love and more love - healing, freeing, delivering and setting free thousands of souls. At the end of that very long day, you gathered them all together and fed them again. One mirace after another and yet I wonder if they realized the greatest miracle - the gift of love that never ends. Selfless, healing, powerful, transforming love.
Reading in Genesis the stories of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I'm reminded once again of God's amazing grace as I recall the many ways he worked through such flawed and sinful people to accomplish his purposes. And not only that, but God blessed those very flawed people in amazing ways - ways that so far exceeded their understanding and even their own lifetimes. God is not handicapped by our messes. The fact is, he works even in those messes to bring about blessing, new life and transformation. It's not to say that there weren't consequences for our Biblical forefathers just like there are for us. I have countless stories - well, maybe not countless (hopefully, I'm not that big of a mess!) - where God moved mightily in spite of my poor choices. I still had consequences to deal with but the Lord was with me every step; he taught me (huge understatement!), healed me, grew my faith and opened my eyes to deeper issues that he was bringing out of hidden corners into his powerful love and light. I can look back over the years at difficult situations and now describe those as God's classroom. In his sovereign wisdom, he allowed me to experience things that at the time seemed (and were) extremely difficult. In the years since, he has shown me so many things that I learned because he was with me - actively with me - in each and every one. He wasn't standing by as some aloof, uninvolved god. He was active - protecting me, guiding me, speaking to me and teaching me about his power, his presence, his love and forgiveness. Years before I needed the knowledge and experience gained from a particular lesson, I was being prepared for what was to come; prepared to return the favor, in a way, as a prayer minister who can walk with someone through difficult and painful memories and know with all my heart that God will do just as he promises. He will bring this person through the trials and the pain and he will be glorified. I know truths about the Lord that are deeply embedded in the core of my being. I have seen his power and protection in dark and scary times; his love and forgiveness when I was incapable of mustering up an ounce of forgiveness for wrongs that had been committed. Even when I couldn't think about forgiving, the Lord was leading me to a place where I could be ministered to and brought into a place of healing that allowed his love to remove the pain from the wound that was inflicted, allowing me to truly forgive and pray the Lord's healing and blessing for the person who had wronged me or hurt me. That's what the transforming power of the Spirit looks like. We're not left in our stuck-place - mired up in anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc. When my heart's desire is to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, God sees beyond the crusty layer that's forming over a wounded heart to the hurt and pain that needs his loving touch. He gently - oh, so gently - begins to lift us out of our pit, opening our eyes to the truth of his love that casts out fear, that heals our deepest hurts and is the answer to our deepest needs. Even in our unwillingness, he is bringing us to a place of being willing - being ready - to receive what he has for us. Our crusty, hardened hearts become soft and pliable clay in our Potter's hands and we're molded into the beautiful vessel God is calling us to be. Forgiveness replaces bitterness, love replaces hatred, mercy replaces revenge and we begin to see others in a new light. We begin to see those who once were our enemies as lost sheep in search of their shepherd. And in God's amazing kingdom, we may even be a channel of peace and love to the very one who inflicted the wound. What if, as we forgave someone or something that seemed unforgiveable, a life was turned around and a lost soul looked into the eyes of the Savior? We don't know what is going on in the "heavenlies"; we can't see the eternal benefits of one act done in obedience and response to our loving God. Just as the proverbial stone tossed into the water causes ripples that go way beyond that first splash, God uses our circumstances in ways far beyond our understanding or ability to see. Just as Abraham, Isaac and Jacob received blessings that pertained to their finite time of earth, the ripples of those blessings continue to this day and beyond. And those blessings weren't contingent on their being perfectly well-behaved citizens. Thank goodness! God worked in and through the lives of those very flawed and sinful men just the same as he works through the life of this very flawed and sinful woman. I cannot begin to wrap my mind around the ways of the Lord. What I think of as roadblocks to his purposes are the very stepping stones he uses to accomplish his plans. It only goes to show me, once again, how small my view of God is - how limiting. Lord, continue opening my eyes to your vastness, your sovereignty and holiness! You truly are an awesome God!
And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Matthew 8:23-27
Recall the beautiful words at the beginning of John's gospel that describe the Word made flesh, the creator coming to live among his creation. After those glorious phrases and powerful words that can bring us to our knees in worship of this amazing God who chose to become flesh and live among us, we find one of the saddest statements: He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. (John 1:10-11) I believe we get a tiny glimpse into this reality in the passage from Matthew's gospel above. Even those who were to become Jesus' closest friends and followers did not (yet) recognize the truth that Jesus was Emmanuel, God with us. The men who are part of the inner circle of Jesus' ministry, after witnessing Jesus' authority over the wind and waves, ask the question, "What sort of man is this...?" The passage above, from chapter 8 in Matthew, describes the early days of Jesus' ministry. Jesus is in the process of gathering together the men who will become his 12 closest followers. (Early in the next chapter, we read about Jesus' call to Matthew, the tax collector, to follow him.) These followers are in the early days of their own life-changing encounter with the Messiah. They will come to know for themselves who this man is and what "sort of man" he is as they witness miracle after miracle, hear teaching unlike any they've heard before and witness the death, resurrection and ascension of their Teacher. On that first Pentecost, they will be filled with the power of the Spirit, empowered and equipped to go and proclaim the truth of who Jesus is and the gift of salvation he has given us. They will suffer hardships and danger in their own lives - persecution, arrest, martyrdom. But unlike the storm and accompanying fear described in the passage above, these "storms" will be overcome by the Good News that they have been privileged to share, the knowledge and conviction of the love, power, authority and sovereignty of God - the deep, abiding truth that nothing and no one can separate them from the love of God. These men who once cowered in the storm-tossed boat, wondering among themselves about this man who calmed the wind and the waves were transformed into followers who understood the powerful truth that Paul put into words in Romans 8:
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I'm thankful that we have the examples of these men to encourage us. We, like they, have questions, doubts, lack of understanding and knowledge; but we also have the example of their transformed lives, their bold witness and their faithfulness. We too are sent into the world to testify to the Good News, to share how Christ has transformed our lives, to witness to the power of the love of God and his presence in us and with us as we walk out our own 'faith-stories'. And we, like those early followers, can trust in the same promise:
"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptized by him. John would have prevented him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?” But Jesus answered him, “Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he consented. And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:13-17 (ESV) Jesus "went up from the water" after his baptism and "behold, the heavens were opened" and he saw the Holy Spirit. Is it important that there is action following the act of baptism and the appearance of the Spirit is tied in with the action? The Holy Spirit empowers us to do the ministry God has called us to and sends us out to do. One of my favorite prayers in the Book of Common Prayer ends with these words: "send us out into the world in peace and grant us strength and courage to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart". We are sent and our strength and courage are granted to us by our God through the power of the Holy Spirit. The strength and courage have a purpose - enabling us to serve our Lord with a glad heart. We're not serving as a burden or duty but rather in response to the gift of our salvation, the gift of our forgiveness and reconciliation, and in response to the love that was and is poured out on us from the cross and in our hearts. How can we respond any differently? God's strength and courage also enable us to serve with singleness of heart. Service in the Spirit's power is focused. We don't have to battle with conflicting emotions, questions and doubts about what we should be doing. In effect, we've been given our marching orders and we're following the steps of our Lord as he leads the way. When we find ourselves with divided hearts, it's time to step back, to do some self-examination. Have our priorities shifted? Has our focus moved from our Lord to our selves? Who's getting the glory for my efforts; is it all about me or am I seeking to glorify God? After a very busy work season, I was enjoying some down-time. Instead of getting ready to go to church, I wanted to stay in my comfy chair with my book. I sensed a "holy nudge" urging me to get up and worship the God that had given me the strength to get through all this. I needed that reminder that it was God's strength, not my own, that enabled me to go the extra miles and do what needed to be done. Church was sweet that morning, my heart was touched and renewed and I did worship the God who is my strength. But action on my part was required. I had to make the choice to get up from my comfy spot and get moving. God met me in that moment of action - my moment of decision - and I experienced his presence in a sweet and powerful way as I worshiped with my church family. We are faced with countless decisions every day: do we choose our own comfort and convenience or do we accept the way God is offering? Jesus - fully man and fully God - had a choice as well. He "went up from the water", was filled and equipped for the road that lay ahead. The heavens were opened to him, the Holy Spirit's power and presence were evident and the voice of the Father was heard speaking his pleasure over the Son. These were the visible and audible signs of the truth of what we, as followers of Jesus, have inherited. When we say "yes" to God we are given the grace to carry out the work he is giving us to do. We are empowered to love and serve our God and equipped to serve him with gladness and singleness of heart.
