During my quiet time this morning, praying for all the needs that have come to my attention, it seems as if I see a common thread running through all these needs and situations. I've seen this thread running through my own life this year. Do I trust God? Do I REALLY trust God? When my life is shaking, when my friends' lives are in a state of upheaval or great stress, when major transitions are occurring in lives all around me - do I trust God? Do I trust him in the midst of the upheaval? Am I too quick to blame the enemy for these stressors and not quick enough to look for God's hand in the transitions?
This past year has brought me to the very brink of my limits of faith and trust. I thought I had a great deal of faith but when I was faced with life and death issues, of times of releasing control and taking my hands off those situations that I felt I had to hang on to, I came to realize that God was asking me to trust him more than I've ever trusted before.
I recall the Good Friday service at my church. We were invited to write on a note card the person, situation, issue, etc. that we felt the Lord was inviting us to let go of. We could leave it at the wooden cross that was propped against the wall. How difficult it was for me. I knew exactly the person's name I was to write on that card and it was terrifying. Could I trust God with this person? Did I believe that God really wanted the very best for this loved one? Surely my hopes and wishes for this person were the best. After finally leaving my card at the cross, I still wanted to go back and pick it up. It was one of the hardest things I've done. Why? Don't I believe that God is GOOD? Does my heart know the depth of God's goodness? Evidently, the Lord was moving me into a deeper level of trust - pushing me and confronting me with the weak areas of my faith and inviting me to go deeper and trust him with every fiber of my being.
Reflecting on the year 2013, that seems to be the theme in so many lives and situations. Trusting God to work out his purposes, trusting God in the shaking and transitioning of lives and situations. Trusting God. "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus asked Peter that question and he asks me - over and over. Who IS Jesus? Do I believe that he is everything he says he is? Can I praise him and trust him in ALL things knowing that he is sovereign over even the most difficult and painful places in my life? Do I really believe that God is good? Really?
After what feels like surviving this year, I can honestly say that, yes, I KNOW that God is good. I have witnessed miracles of healing, of salvation, of restoration, of perseverance, forgiveness, deliverance, reconciliation. I could go on. Yes, indeed, God is good. He is loving and faithful and very present - always present. I have seen and experienced the truth that I am securely in the hands of my loving Father God and no thing or no one can snatch me from his hands. In times of stress or worry, I used to picture myself hanging on to the Lord as best I could. This year has taught me that I pictured it backwards: the Lord is hanging on to me, keeping me from falling, from going over the edge. He has been my strength, he has been my Rock.
As this year closes and a new year approaches, I wonder what changes are coming; how will my life be different, my ministry? Will this new level of trust be put to the test? Obviously, we have no way of knowing what the future holds but I do know that God is faithful. He is my very present help in times of trouble.
Psalm 145
I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.
All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,
and all your saints shall bless you!
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom
and tell of your power,
to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.
[The Lord is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.]
The Lord upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.
