Baby Steps

I've been thinking about serving and offerings this morning. We offer our selves, our souls, our bodies, our time, our talents to the Lord. In Exodus, the Israelites were invited to bring what they had to offer to construct the temple and its furnishings. There were offerings of talent and skill as well as materials. These weren't forced offerings, but offerings of the heart. They gave until the supply far exceeded the need. And what about the widow's offering in the temple (Mark 12)? Her act was held up by Jesus because she gave from her heart and, meager though it was, the generosity of her offering was praised and immortalized. Then there are the two accounts of the fishes and the loaves. Another small quantity in the face of a large need but the Lord multiplied the offerings and they far exceeded what was needed. 


This all came to mind in response to my sense that the Lord is calling me to a season of rest and restoration. The doubts and questions and guilty thoughts are roaring around in my brain. I catch myself asking if I'm doing enough. What if I'm supposed to be doing more? What if I'm not doing enough? What if I'm not living up to the expectations of my heavenly Father? What if I'm supposed to push through this season of weariness and learn about "perseverance" and "faithfulness in times of trial"? Lord have mercy! I recognize this lie! How many of us live under the need to prove ourselves worthy of God's love and acceptance thinking we have to earn what God has so freely given? That trap of "if I do this, then ...." I thought that old lie was buried a long time ago but it's rearing up it's ugly little head again!

As I sat with all these thoughts and questions, the instances above came to mind. Did the Lord refuse to accept the fishes and loaves with a "you can do better than that" response? Or what about the widow? No! He graciously, appreciatively, and lovingly responded to those offerings and blessed them. He multiplied them. 

Our Lord invites us to rest in him and with him, to allow him to shoulder our burdens as we are joined with him as a team, working, walking and resting side by side. Rest is so important and a sabbath rest is a commandment. After Jesus sent the disciples out two by two, they returned full of the news of the events of their mission. Did he pat them on the back and say, "Get on back out there and see how many more people you can meet"? Thankfully, no! Jesus' response was to invite them to come away with him to a quiet place and get some rest. We serve him out of the fullness of his presence not out of the draining supplies of our own resources.

I believe I'm entering this season with little baby steps but the sense I have is that this is what's being asked of me. Take the first step. Watch and wait. Trust that the Lord's plans and purposes are, as always, good and right. I think that it's perfectly ok to feel uncertain; I'm taking a baby step away from a very familiar pattern or comfort zone. And if there's one thing I've learned in my years of following Jesus, if I start feeling like I'm pitching my tent in a comfort zone, I can expect to have that situation changed. Comfort zones (for me) imply that I've got everything under control and am doing just fine, thank you very much. Ha!! Look at who thinks she's in control! Thank you, Lord, for booting me out of that place of wrong thinking - the sin of self, of pride. No wonder I'm balking at this new direction; I'm having to let go. Fortunately, I have a long history of seeing the Lord reveal his love, provision and blessing when I just let go and let him do his work. I will trust him on this next new path.

God's Presence

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)

The past week has been hard. I don't know what has caused the swelling and pain in my leg but I know how uncomfortable I've been, how confined to one place and how limited my mobility has been. I've needed help with the simplest tasks and have been unable to live my normal, busy life - no driving, having to work from my bedroom rather than the office, relying on someone to do things for me - not my norm, to say the least. It's only been a week. There are people with far more debilitating conditions for far longer periods of time. I'm not being a good patient. I'm not being patient in this whatever-it-is kind of season. 

It seems that in my part of this world, there is an awful lot of suffering and I'm weary with it. What's going on Lord? What is the lesson in all of this? My prayer list is getting longer and longer and the needs are great: loss of loved ones, unemployment, financial difficulties, sickness, age-related mental and physical disabilities. All are challenges and raise the ultimate question of "Where is God in all this?" In all honesty, I do know where God is in all this; I couldn't pray for the dear ones on my list, trust and hope that this is a season and not a 'forever thing' without God - without the knowledge that the Lord I love is a very present help in times of trouble. He is near to the broken-hearted, he is Jehovah Rapha - the God who heals; he comforts those who mourn, he's with me in these wee hours of the morning when I can't sleep because of my own discomfort. 

I think we miss the extent of God's presence with us in our suffering, we miss some of the message of the cross. There is no length to which the Lord will not go to reach his child who is suffering, lost, being led astray. Look at the cross. We pray for the Lord to have mercy, we pray for justice, we pray for healing, forgiveness, redemption, salvation. Is there a shadow over our prayers? Are we praying those things fully expecting the Lord to answer our prayers or are they words that we're not sure are being heard? Look at the cross. 

I picked up one of my devotionals as I was dealing with my sleeplessness and read the verse above from Exodus. The Lord's presence is with me. Even in my sleeplessness he will give me rest: physical rest, hopefully, but spiritual rest and peace in my soul in the midst of my worries and concerns for myself and for those near to me for whom I'm praying. I cannot imagine a life apart from the presence of God. The emptiness, hopelessness and loneliness is beyond my imagination. What must it have been like for our Lord Jesus to experience that separation from his Father as he bore our sins on that cross? The one who knows his Father so intimately, so perfectly, in such unity of personhood experienced the loss of that as he became sin in order to restore us to our Father. 

My pitiful complaints at 2:30 in the morning pale in comparison but the fact remains, they're real and they're important and they're not going unnoticed. The Lord has promised his presence will be with me - and it is. The Lord has promised he will give me rest - and he will, he is. 

1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

    you discern my thoughts from afar.

3 You search out my path and my lying down

    and are acquainted with all my ways.

4 Even before a word is on my tongue,

    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,

    and lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

    it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?    

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

9 If I take the wings of the morning

    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 even there your hand shall lead me,

    and your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

    and the light about me be night,”

12 even the darkness is not dark to you;

    the night is bright as the day,

    for darkness is as light with you. (Ps. 139)

Reaching Out

Mark 5:25-34  And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, 26 and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. 27 She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. 28 For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.” 29 And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. 30 And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?” 31 And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” 32 And he looked around to see who had done it. 33 But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth. 34 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”

Such a familiar passage - I have no idea how many times I’ve read it or heard sermons preached on it. But this morning, as is the way with God’s word, something hit me a little differently. I thought about this woman and how desperate she was, how long she had suffered. But, what gave her the idea that simply touching the hem of Jesus’ clothes would bring her healing? Why would anyone even think such a thing was possible? I believe she saw Jesus - saw him in a way that others did not; and, to this day, still do not! She must have seen his power, his holiness to such a degree that she somehow knew that even the clothes on his back were infused with this power. 

What does it take to recognize that? I ask that question of myself! I want to have the faith of this woman - the sight that she had. I want to see Jesus’ holiness and power the way she did. I think, if I had been her, I would have been so desperate for healing that my touch of his garment would have been more like a grab - something to get Jesus to stop, turn around and pay attention to me. But this lady was so broken, so wounded; as the outcast in her world - unclean because of her disease - she was completely separated from her community. She didn’t want to be noticed. She felt unworthy to even approach Jesus face to face so she crept up from behind and below, so very hesitant but so full of the awareness of this power-filled man in front of her. She reached out and touched the hem as he passed by. How amazing!

No matter what we’re dealing with, all we have to muster up is enough strength to reach out - just enough to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. He knows our touch. He knew that power had gone out of him as soon as the woman touched his clothes. He knows. He sees. He responds. His power was released into her life just as in ours. He heals, restores, touches; his healing power is his love, poured out into our lives. Our meager, weak reach is answered by the greatest power in the universe - the Word of Life, God himself, reaching out to his. He calls us his son or daughter and brings life and wholeness into those broken, dis-eased places. Our tentative reaching out is acknowledged and responded to with “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Eph. 3:20).

I pray we can all have the faith and hope that this dear woman exhibited and that, no matter what we’re dealing with, can reach out to our Lord and watch as we responds to us in the power of his love.

Refuge

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. (Psalm 5:11-12 ESV)


Reading these two verses, I reflected on what it meant to take refuge in the Lord. We're given the promise of joy, protection, blessing, God's favor that covers us like a shield. That's a lot to take in. I felt the need to ask the Lord to continue to teach me how to take refuge in him and to be mindful of when I needed to seek that refuge. That gave me pause - do I realize that need? How long does it take me to finally recognize my desperate need for the peace of God? In the stresses and busy-ness of life, we keep trudging along taking care of what needs to be done and before we realize it, we're like that proverbial frog in the pot of water with the temperature rising gradually to the boiling point. That's such a terrible image but isn't it true for the way we approach the hard / sad / trying / stressful times of life? What does it take for us to admit we can't handle things on our own and, in fact, were never meant to?

In times of crisis, we can seek refuge in God. We can draw near to him, set aside time to just be in his presence - with or without words - and know that we're right where we need to be. In that place of refuge, we're protected. That protection is described as a covering spread over us and also like a shield guarding us. In that place of comfort and safety, we know God's favor, we can experience joy and rejoicing even in the midst of our crisis. We can take sanctuary in the presence of God and watch him work through the trials and crises of life to bring us into a deeper awareness of his power, his watchfulness over us, and his loving intentions and attentions towards those who love his name.

It's About Prayer

What Do We Believe About Prayer?

It’s boring . . . . . One-sided. . . . . Lots of words . . . . . Have to put on our ‘holy face’ – get it just right . . . . . Some people are better at it than others . . . . . We do it on Sunday mornings – otherwise, in emergencies or when we need something . . . . .  ‘Good thoughts’ sent out into the universe . . . .

What Is It?

Communication, conversation that springs from relationship . . . . . Natural . . . . . Easy . . . . . Continuous . . . . . . Two-sided – speaking and listening . . . . . Always heard and answered . . . . . Love . . . . . Real . . . . . Honest . . . . . Raw . . . . . Sweet . . . .

Why do we struggle so with prayer? Because relationships take work – sometimes hard work – and maybe we imagine prayer to be like dropping a penny into a wishing well and waiting for our wish to come true when, instead, God calls us to enter into relationship, to do the hard work that relationships take, to get to know our Lord and Saviour.

And that ‘getting to know’ part? That means all the parts of us that we’d rather people not know about.  Our Lord sees and knows all those parts, all of us – warts and all. And he loves us totally, unconditionally, and eternally. Is that scary? I think so - perhaps because it’s too hard to believe and too good to be true. There’s got to be some part of us that when it’s revealed will be too much, will tip the scales in the other direction. We dare not get too close, dare not open ourselves too much; therefore, we approach God with our prayers and we offer them the way we think they should be offered – make sure the words are right, that we’re ‘holy’ enough – because if we said the things that were really on our heart, that bolt of heavenly lightening would come crashing down and obliterate us. Well, maybe not that extreme but there’s a certain amount of fear that, I think, prevents us from being completely open and honest with our prayers.

Think about your best relationships – friendships, family members, your spouse – the ones with whom you can be totally honest. We don’t have to put on a certain face for those people. When we’re mad, we show it. When we’re excited, we jump up and down, laugh and celebrate together. When we’re sad, these are the people that will hold us and cry with us. If we’re afraid or worried, they’re the ones we can call at any hour and ask for help.

Why not God? Our God, who became man and came to this earth to walk with us, eat, sleep, laugh, cry, celebrate, mourn, worry, be afraid – shares every emotion with us. Jesus gets us – he totally knows what we go through because he went through all that and more. Why can’t we go to him with all our stuff?

Any relationship that’s worth anything is an authentic one. Perhaps prayer is, in its simplest terms, an invitation from God to get to know him better, to learn to trust him and to grow in our ability to let go of our fear and guardedness and just be --- our true, real, authentic self. The psalmist wrote, Be still and know that I am God. It’s a useful exercise to meditate on each one of those words – one at the time. I think it sums up what I’m trying to express:

Be

Be still

Be still and know

Be still and know … I AM

Be still and know that I am God

I don’t presume to have all the answers but I value the prayer lessons I’ve learned by struggling through, asking the questions, getting mad some of the time, asking “WHY?” a lot of times, learning to trust, learning to wait, learning to watch, and seeing prayers answered in ways I could never have imagined. And in the process of all that, I’ve come to know Jesus in a way that astounds me.

His name was the first name cried out when my car was spinning out of control at 70mph two weeks ago after being hit by another car. His name was the first name I gave thanks to when the car stopped and I was ok. His name is the first name I think of when I look at my beautiful grandson take his first steps and when I give thanks for the wonderful people I’m blessed to call my friends and family. The more I’ve spent time with him, gotten to know him, grown in relationship with him, the more my thoughts throughout the day-to-day stuff of life become conversational and prayerful. Maybe that’s what Paul meant when he wrote, Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV)

Prayer, like our best relationships, is a journey of discovery. It’s a journey I invite and encourage you to begin and continue  -- and be blessed.

Prep Work

David commanded to gather together the resident aliens who were in the land of Israel, and he set stonecutters to prepare dressed stones for building the house of God. David also provided great quantities of iron for nails for the doors of the gates and for clamps, as well as bronze in quantities beyond weighing, and cedar timbers without number, for the Sidonians and Tyrians brought great quantities of cedar to David. For David said, “Solomon my son is young and inexperienced, and the house that is to be built for the LORD must be exceedingly magnificent, of fame and glory throughout all lands. I will therefore make preparation for it.” So David provided materials in great quantity before his death.  (1 Chronicles 22:2-5 ESV)

God is always working out his purposes even when we're not aware of it. I love the phrase in this reading that says, "Solomon my son is young and inexperienced...." How many times in my life has the Lord called me to a task but at the time I sense his call, I'm still "young and inexperienced", not ready yet; there's work to be done in preparing me for the work God's calling me to do. We often hear people say that 'nothing is wasted'; God takes experiences, lessons learned, aspects of our lives that may, at the time, seem inconsequential and uses all these things to prepare us - to lay a foundation to be built upon as we walk out his purposes in our journeys of faith. 

In the story of David and Solomon, how interesting that David - the one who asked to build the temple for his God - was actually the one God chose to make preparation for Solomon to carry out this auspicious task. Instead of feeling overlooked, David got to work accumulating the manpower and materials needed for his son, Solomon, to build the house for the Lord - the "exceedingly magnificent" house. David delighted in his role, preparing the way for Solomon.

Who are the "Davids" in our own lives? Who are the ones the Lord has used to lay the foundation for the work God has called us to do? Certainly, we can look to our parents and grandparents and the spiritual blessings passed on to us through their godly examples in our lives. If not our biological parents, perhaps our spiritual fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters in the faith, pastors, teachers, even acquaintances or strangers that have left a mark on our lives - all working together, piece by piece, in preparing us as God grows us and matures us until we are ready to take the next step God has called us to. 

I remember MANY years ago, in my freshman year of college when our professors decided none of us knew how to write a decent thesis and decided we'd learn by repetition and practice ---- week after week after week. The drudgery, the copious amounts of coffee in the wee hours of the morning - we learned! Looking back, I'm thankful; I'm thankful for what I learned and what I now know to have resulted in a love of writing that I never expected. My writing is in my journal, on this blog, in the few Bible studies I've written; but it's a passion that I have and hope to see grow. Foundations were laid at my alma mater all those years ago. Nothing was wasted. 

Am I patient in the waiting when I sense God preparing me for a new season or new direction in my life? Most of the time, I'm not. I usually feel stuck, frustrated, anxious to be out of a seemingly dry season. Reading the passage from Chronicles this morning, though, made me thankful for the work the Lord did for Solomon and touched that he allowed Solomon's father to so joyfully prepare the way for his son. The reading was a gentle reminder to me to be thankful for those doing the "prep work" on my behalf while God is faithfully growing me. 

Solomon's father, David, was preparing the manpower and materials - the 'outer work' - for Solomon's holy calling while his heavenly Father was preparing the 'inner man' for that calling. Lord, give me the eyes to see you at work even when (especially when!) my 'immature' self is feeling overlooked.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  (Romans 8:28 ESV)

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure 

(Philippians 2:13 ESV)

Touch

"While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” And immediately the leprosy left him."  (Luke 5:12-13 NIV)

The man with leprosy - outcast, avoided, untouchable, unclean. Jesus reached out. He didn't turn away, cross the street or go out of his way to steer clear of this unclean man. He reached out. He reached out his hand and touched the man. 

Touch is such a powerful thing. Just the act of physical contact after who-knows-how-long must have been, in itself, a wonderful thing for this man. That touch may have been more healing than the actual physical healing of his leprosy. 

Touch is intimate, personal. Sometimes touch is not a safe thing and people avoid it for their own protection. Unsafe touch is worse than no touch. As a prayer minister, I ask someone if it's ok to lay hands on them when I pray for them because I know that some have experienced unsafe touch and could feel threatened or uncomfortable by any physical contact. What a shame that something that can bring so much comfort and reassurance can be, instead, a danger. 

In the case of the man in the gospel, he was forced to withdraw from contact with others because of his leprosy. He was deprived of interpersonal relationships, of friendly handshakes or pats on the back, hugs of greeting or hugs of love. Along with suffering from this disease, he was cut off from his community and was forced to suffer separation and isolation. How sweet that the first thing Jesus did in answer to his request was to reach out his hand and touch this man. How profound that simple gesture must have been! We don't know how long this poor man had suffered alone but Jesus touched him, bringing him at once back into relationship and contact with the human race. That touch healed his broken spirit AND healed his diseased body. 

This account reminds me of the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' garment and was healed from her years of bleeding. Again - isolated, cut off from society. Jesus' initial response is interesting to me: he asks who touched him. I can't help but think that Jesus must have known who touched him; he was, after all, fully human and fully God.  But he invited her to step forward, to be acknowledged and seen - brought out of the shadows where she was ignored and avoided like the leprous man in the story from Luke. The next thing he did was call her "daughter". He restored her to the community, acknowledging that she was a person of great worth, precious in the eyes of her Father. Just as he reached out his hand and touched the man in Luke, he reached out and touched the woman by calling her daughter. Both of these people were publicly restored to the community, touched and identified, affirmed and valued by Jesus. Their physical bodies were indeed healed but how much more healing took place deep in their hearts? We can only wonder what life was like for these two after they were touched by Jesus. 

In what ways do we allow ourselves to be touched by Jesus? Do we sit quietly in his presence and wait patiently for him to touch our hearts, to speak to us in that still, small voice? Do we reach out to him and ask for his healing of our inner hurts, our dis-ease of body, mind or soul? Do we wait expectantly for that touch? Do we trust that he is willing to make us whole? Do we know God to be good, loving, faithful and intimately involved in our lives? Allow Jesus to reach out his hand and touch you, to call you by name, to affirm your place in his heart and in the family of God.