Baby Steps

I've been thinking about serving and offerings this morning. We offer our selves, our souls, our bodies, our time, our talents to the Lord. In Exodus, the Israelites were invited to bring what they had to offer to construct the temple and its furnishings. There were offerings of talent and skill as well as materials. These weren't forced offerings, but offerings of the heart. They gave until the supply far exceeded the need. And what about the widow's offering in the temple (Mark 12)? Her act was held up by Jesus because she gave from her heart and, meager though it was, the generosity of her offering was praised and immortalized. Then there are the two accounts of the fishes and the loaves. Another small quantity in the face of a large need but the Lord multiplied the offerings and they far exceeded what was needed. 


This all came to mind in response to my sense that the Lord is calling me to a season of rest and restoration. The doubts and questions and guilty thoughts are roaring around in my brain. I catch myself asking if I'm doing enough. What if I'm supposed to be doing more? What if I'm not doing enough? What if I'm not living up to the expectations of my heavenly Father? What if I'm supposed to push through this season of weariness and learn about "perseverance" and "faithfulness in times of trial"? Lord have mercy! I recognize this lie! How many of us live under the need to prove ourselves worthy of God's love and acceptance thinking we have to earn what God has so freely given? That trap of "if I do this, then ...." I thought that old lie was buried a long time ago but it's rearing up it's ugly little head again!

As I sat with all these thoughts and questions, the instances above came to mind. Did the Lord refuse to accept the fishes and loaves with a "you can do better than that" response? Or what about the widow? No! He graciously, appreciatively, and lovingly responded to those offerings and blessed them. He multiplied them. 

Our Lord invites us to rest in him and with him, to allow him to shoulder our burdens as we are joined with him as a team, working, walking and resting side by side. Rest is so important and a sabbath rest is a commandment. After Jesus sent the disciples out two by two, they returned full of the news of the events of their mission. Did he pat them on the back and say, "Get on back out there and see how many more people you can meet"? Thankfully, no! Jesus' response was to invite them to come away with him to a quiet place and get some rest. We serve him out of the fullness of his presence not out of the draining supplies of our own resources.

I believe I'm entering this season with little baby steps but the sense I have is that this is what's being asked of me. Take the first step. Watch and wait. Trust that the Lord's plans and purposes are, as always, good and right. I think that it's perfectly ok to feel uncertain; I'm taking a baby step away from a very familiar pattern or comfort zone. And if there's one thing I've learned in my years of following Jesus, if I start feeling like I'm pitching my tent in a comfort zone, I can expect to have that situation changed. Comfort zones (for me) imply that I've got everything under control and am doing just fine, thank you very much. Ha!! Look at who thinks she's in control! Thank you, Lord, for booting me out of that place of wrong thinking - the sin of self, of pride. No wonder I'm balking at this new direction; I'm having to let go. Fortunately, I have a long history of seeing the Lord reveal his love, provision and blessing when I just let go and let him do his work. I will trust him on this next new path.