Don't Give Up!

My thoughts this morning as I've read my Bible passages and devotionals, have been on prayer and what it means to persevere in prayer. As I was reading, I saw a note in the margin of my Bible and remembered immediately the circumstances that led to that note. It was an amazing and surprising answer to a prayer that I was too beat down to pray. My heart was worn out, I felt defeated and ready to give up. As I went to bed that night I knew my heart was reaching out to God even though I didn't know what to ask for. I woke up the next morning feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted; I was filled with joy and the immediate awareness that God had done something amazing while I slept. 

The verse that morning that prompted my note was this one from Ps. 46: God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved. God will help her when morning dawns. That was 2 years ago - February 15, 2012, to be exact. It was during a very long period of intense prayer, questioning, struggle and dogged determination to hang on and seek God's face and will for the situations. I often felt like Jacob wrestling with the angel of the Lord; I, too, felt like I was wrestling with God, crying out in prayer, wondering why he was taking so long to do something. That event in 2012 wasn't the complete answer to my prayers; it was a breath of fresh air that gave me rest and encouragement and new strength to continue. I wish I understood why God takes so long to answer some prayers while at other times, his answer comes immediately. I know that I am incapable of seeing the whole big picture and the way God is working things together as I continue praying so my faith has to sustain me during those times of wrestling with unanswered or not-yet-answered prayer because I do believe that God answers every prayer.

I recently heard someone comment that they disliked the term "prayer warrior" but I have to say that during that time of my life, that is what it felt like. I was battling for the ones for whom I was praying. But I was battling WITH God. Even though it didn't always feel like that, I know now who was in charge of the battle, who was leading me, strengthening me, dusting me off and equipping me to go back out on that battlefield.

After 3 intense years of prayer and intercession, God has moved miraculously in each situation for which I was praying. The miracles I've witnessed and experienced have been miracles of bringing life from death - rebirth, new beginnings, restored relationships, reconciliation, amazing testimonies to the power of God and his perfect timing in answering prayers.

I share all this because I want to encourage anyone that is struggling with a difficult situation and wondering why God hasn't done anything. Please don't give up. God is faithful. Trust in the truth that God sees and knows your heart and your struggles. He is at work even when we can't see or understand that anything is happening. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is good. He is loving and his promises are true. Keep praying. Keep seeking his face. Don't be afraid to be completely honest with him when you have doubts or get angry. God loves you with a love that is safe, trustworthy and completely unconditional. He will answer your prayers.

You are beautiful beyond description 

Too marvelous for words 

Too wonderful of comprehension 

Like nothing ever seen or heard 

Who can grasp you infinite wisdom 

Who can fathom the depth of your love 

You are beautiful beyond description 

Majesty enthroned above 

And I stand, I stand in awe of you 

I stand, I stand in awe of you 

Holy God to whom all praise is due 

I stand in awe of you

Generosity

This morning's reading from one of my daily devotionals focused on God's generosity. The first passage read in light of this theme was Psalm 36. Consider this verse: How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light. (Psalm 36:7-9 ESV) 

I had written a note in the margin from a previous study that expanded my understanding of the phrase, in your light do we see light. Read that same phrase as "in your light do we experience life". 

Is that true? Do I view my life through the lens of the light - the presence - of God? To follow the theme of my devotional, do I view my life and all I have as a result of the generosity of God? As I sat with that thought this morning, I reflected on all that I have been blessed with, both material things and the intangible things. We in this country have so much and what we don't have is easily accessible. If we can't get to a certain store in a matter of a few minutes, we can shop for anything and everything from the comforts of home via the internet. 

My husband and I are working towards downsizing and the cleaning-out that has to precede that eventual move. What a herculean task it seems to be! I can think of one attic and break out in a cold sweat. How is it that we have accumulated all this STUFF, so much of which will be donated to Goodwill or sold at a yard sale or on Craig's List? That really is ridiculous! How can I fully appreciate the generosity of God when I have so much that's disposable?

The past few years have resulted in a readjustment of my attitude toward this issue, the heart of which is God's presence, purpose and provision in my life. These years have been a time of refiner's fire and it has most definitely NOT been comfortable or easy. What I've come to see is the great goodness of God, the amazing and surprising ways he has answered YEARS of prayers and his sustaining hand on me as I tried to weather some horrendous storms. As a result, I've come to see God's generosity in astonishing ways. His gifts of life and salvation, the gift of those near and dear to me who were Jesus "with skin on", and the gift of new beginnings that I never expected. When I take the time to sit and reflect on all of these things, it truly feels like I've been experiencing the outpouring of God's fountain of life, drinking from the river of your delights, and feasting on the abundance of your house.  The Lord has opened my eyes wider to see and KNOW more of his nature: his love, goodness, protection, provision, steadfast love and faithfulness. These are the true THINGS that matter most in this life - not that attic full of stuff that seemed so important and necessary when they were first purchased. The true value is in the life I live as a result of having been purchased by Christ, the grace to live and experience life in the light of God's presence. Lately, in my prayer times, I've found myself carried away in praise, worshiping the holy God I serve, even reflecting on the many ways his creation brings glory to its Creator - from the tiniest seed or blade of grass to the amazing beauty of the mountains and the oceans.

How gracious and generous is our God! 

Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD. 

How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light. Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart!

(Psalm 36:5-10 ESV)

Following

I invite you to read Mark 10:32-52. It begins with Jesus leading his disciples and followers on the road to Jerusalem. He is walking purposefully and determinedly towards the last week of his life. Mark describes the emotions of those walking behind him in this way: And they were amazed, and those who followed were afraid. (Mark 10:32 ESV)

I can imagine the scene and in my imagination I can see myself in the crowd, looking at Jesus walking ahead. I can easily translate this image into the present and my own walk with the Lord. Sometimes I'm amazed and sometimes I'm afraid. Thinking of those following Jesus on that dusty road to Jerusalem, they must have had the same questions we all have at some point in our Christian journey. "Where is he taking us?" "What will happen when we get there?" "What if....?"

Along the way, two interesting events are recounted. First, James and John say to Jesus, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” (Mark 10:35, ESV) Pause for a minute and remember their purpose on this journey and the feelings Mark describes. Isn't it interesting that James and John have shifted the focus to their own needs? Can you, like me, see yourself in this situation? How many times have I taken my eyes off Jesus' direction for my life and looked at my own narrow view and wanted the Lord to do whatever I ask of him. It's so hard to see the big picture when we feel that we're watching Jesus' back lead us to who-knows-where. Trusting in his ultimate purposes and plans is an act of faith and will. Standing firm on the promises of God when our eyes can't see is what faith looks like; which leads me to the second event in this passage - the encounter with the blind beggar, Bartimaeus.

What I love about this story is Bartimaeus' determination to get the attention of Jesus in spite of those around him. He keeps crying out and interestingly, Mark tells us that Jesus' response is to tell the people to "call him". The one who was calling out is answered with a call and the ones who were rebuking him and telling him to be silent are the ones who are now saying, “Take heart. Get up; he is calling you.” The blind man's response is immediate. And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. 

Can you see yourself in this story? How would you answer Jesus when he asks, "What do you want me to do for you?" The answer seems obvious but perhaps there's more to the question that we know. When we cry out to the Lord from our own need, is there more to our request than even we realize? Jesus said that the faith of Bartimaeus healed him. When we exercise our faith by persevering in our prayers, is that in itself a healing act? How are we transformed during the periods of crying out to the Lord no matter what other people say we should do? How is our sight recovered when we seek the presence of Jesus? The result of Bartimaeus' healing was that he followed Jesus. We end up where we started - following Jesus on that dusty road as he walks out his divine purposes. Isn't that the best place to be?

Do. Love. Walk.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?  (Micah 6:8)

God has told us
   what he requires of us
      do justice
         love kindness
            walk humbly with our God

Look at a similar commandment from a New Testament perspective:  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. (John 13:34) 

Doing justice, loving kindness, walking out our faith in humility - all are actions based on and lived out of love. This is how Jesus is made known to the world - through the lives of his disciples, his followers. He gave us his own life as an example and as the image of the perfect love of our Father; he gives us his Spirit, the gift that is God's love living within us so that these commandments can be carried out, not in our own feeble power but in the power of God himself. 

Just as the Father loves the Son, the Son loves us and empowers us to love the world. God has told us what is good; he has commanded us to love; he has called us to DO, to LOVE and to WALK. 

Psalm 3

Reading Psalm 3 this morning, I paused when I got to one of my favorite Bible verses:  “But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.”  Once again I found myself reading a very familiar passage in a new light.  At the beginning of the psalm, David writes of his fears for his life.  Adding to his distress was the fact that his enemy was his own son.  We probably can’t begin to grasp what this was like. How horrid to be a king on the run from his own son!  Hopefully none of us are dealing with such life and death issues. 

In reading this psalm is seems that David was writing these words after a period of fear-filled sleeplessness.  We, too, certainly know sleepless nights when our worries of the day are magnified, causing us to toss and turn.  That’s when I read “my” verse differently.  In the midst of our tossing and turning, worries and anxieties, can we, like David, turn to God with that level of confidence, that deep knowing that God really is a shield for us, our protector? 

After David’s proclamation of God’s sovereign protection, he writes:  “I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.”  Fear for his life was replaced by the awareness of God’s protection and presence and he slept.  And woke again!  He wasn’t attacked while he slept.  He didn’t have to stay awake and alert, keeping watch because he KNEW his God was watching over him.  He lay down and slept. 

On this third day of this new year, God alone knows our future.  He alone knows the trials and struggles, the joys and celebrations, the sorrows and fears that are ahead. We should resolve to keep this verse close at hand and close to our hearts for the days – and nights – ahead.  Pray and meditate on the words until it becomes as true for us as it was for David so that in the days to come, we can know that God is our shield, our protector; we can lay down and sleep in peace knowing we are in his care. 

At the same time, it’s important to remember that this God is also the one who delights in his children, who exults over us with loud singing (Zeph. 3:17).  Let’s resolve to get to know God as not only our help in trouble but the God who loves us, delights over us and longs to be in relationship with us. Let’s walk out the days of 2014 (and beyond) growing in our knowledge and understanding of God’s presence, his peace, and his love for us.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)

Trust

During my quiet time this morning, praying for all the needs that have come to my attention, it seems as if I see a common thread running through all these needs and situations. I've seen this thread running through my own life this year. Do I trust God? Do I REALLY trust God? When my life is shaking, when my friends' lives are in a state of upheaval or great stress, when major transitions are occurring in lives all around me - do I trust God? Do I trust him in the midst of the upheaval? Am I too quick to blame the enemy for these stressors and not quick enough to look for God's hand in the transitions?

This past year has brought me to the very brink of my limits of faith and trust. I thought I had a great deal of faith but when I was faced with life and death issues, of times of releasing control and taking my hands off those situations that I felt I had to hang on to, I came to realize that God was asking me to trust him more than I've ever trusted before.

I recall the Good Friday service at my church. We were invited to write on a note card the person, situation, issue, etc. that we felt the Lord was inviting us to let go of. We could leave it at the wooden cross that was propped against the wall. How difficult it was for me. I knew exactly the person's name I was to write on that card and it was terrifying. Could I trust God with this person? Did I believe that God really wanted the very best for this loved one? Surely my hopes and wishes for this person were the best. After finally leaving my card at the cross, I still wanted to go back and pick it up. It was one of the hardest things I've done. Why? Don't I believe that God is GOOD? Does my heart know the depth of God's goodness? Evidently, the Lord was moving me into a deeper level of trust - pushing me and confronting me with the weak areas of my faith and inviting me to go deeper and trust him with every fiber of my being.

Reflecting on the year 2013, that seems to be the theme in so many lives and situations. Trusting God to work out his purposes, trusting God in the shaking and transitioning of lives and situations. Trusting God. "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus asked Peter that question and he asks me - over and over. Who IS Jesus? Do I believe that he is everything he says he is? Can I praise him and trust him in ALL things knowing that he is sovereign over even the most difficult and painful places in my life? Do I really believe that God is good? Really?

After what feels like surviving this year, I can honestly say that, yes, I KNOW that God is good. I have witnessed miracles of healing, of salvation, of restoration, of perseverance, forgiveness, deliverance, reconciliation. I could go on. Yes, indeed, God is good. He is loving and faithful and very present - always present. I have seen and experienced the truth that I am securely in the hands of my loving Father God and no thing or no one can snatch me from his hands. In times of stress or worry, I used to picture myself hanging on to the Lord as best I could. This year has taught me that I pictured it backwards: the Lord is hanging on to me, keeping me from falling, from going over the edge. He has been my strength, he has been my Rock.

As this year closes and a new year approaches, I wonder what changes are coming; how will my life be different, my ministry? Will this new level of trust be put to the test? Obviously, we have no way of knowing what the future holds but I do know that God is faithful. He is my very present help in times of trouble.

Psalm 145 

I will extol you, my God and King,

and bless your name forever and ever.

Every day I will bless you

and praise your name forever and ever.

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,

and his greatness is unsearchable.

One generation shall commend your works to another,

and shall declare your mighty acts.

On the glorious splendor of your majesty,

and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.

They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,

and I will declare your greatness.

They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness

and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

The Lord is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

The Lord is good to all,

and his mercy is over all that he has made.

All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,

and all your saints shall bless you!

They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom

and tell of your power,

to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,

and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

[The Lord is faithful in all his words

and kind in all his works.]

The Lord upholds all who are falling

and raises up all who are bowed down.

The eyes of all look to you,

and you give them their food in due season.

You open your hand;

you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways

and kind in all his works.

The Lord is near to all who call on him,

to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;

he also hears their cry and saves them.

The Lord preserves all who love him,

but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,

and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Waiting and Trusting

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall never be shaken. (Pslam 62:1-2)

This year has been the best of times and the worst of times!  From struggling through the months of my husband’s long hospital stay and recovery, to rejoicing over the miraculous answer of many years of prayer for the salvation of a loved one, it’s been a most memorable year. 

It has been the most stressful year I can remember, the effects of which are still going on.  I wake up with headaches from clenching my jaws while I sleep, I have strange, stressful dreams most nights, I feel disconnected from God in a way that I can’t seem to resolve; yet, on the other hand, I see God at work in my prayer ministry in wonderful and powerful ways.  I know he hasn’t abandoned me but is, in fact, closer than ever. I feel like I’m living in a world of extremes, of good vs. bad, of nearness vs. distance, of stress vs. peace, which all add to my stress level.   

But in the midst of all this, in the deepest part of me, I can echo the words of the psalmist:  For God alone my soul waits in silence.  I feel a strong and profound sense of waiting; waiting for God to finish this work he’s doing in me, to open my eyes to see what I can’t see yet.  I have a sense of my life moving in a direction that is yet to be revealed, as if I’m living in a time of transition, a life-changing period.  Do I need to tell you that this is stressful, too?  I try to bring myself back to what I know to be true and what I cling to through all of this:  he alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress.  I shall never be shaken. 

The psalm says I shall never be shaken.  I get that, I know this is truth; yet this year has been a year of great shaking, a great deal of transition, change, new direction and uncertainty.  I trust God in the midst of all this because I know he is the one doing the shaking and that he is working in all these things for my good and the good of so many others.  It’s just hard to walk through all of this when my life feels so unsettled and “not like it used to be”.   I think that’s the answer:  God has, once again, moved me out of my comfort zone.  Or, IS moving me and I resist it every time. 

Looking back on my struggles during the long days of my husband’s hospitalization, I was praying about my feelings.  I was so angry.  I didn’t understand where that anger was coming from, thinking I could handle life’s hardships a bit better than that. It felt like I was being besieged, attacked from every direction, and I was losing the battle. The Lord led me to understand that my anger was directed at him, that I was rebelling against his corrections in my life.  That’s a rather sobering realization but I’m trying to pay attention to what the Lord is revealing, those things that he wants me to lay aside that aren’t worth my time and attention or that get ahead of my relationship and time in his presence. 

It’s that shaking up, or pruning, that is part of our transformation.  It’s hard, it’s sometimes painful and like children being corrected by their loving parents, we resist it.  As disciples of Jesus it’s not about our childish cries of "What about me?!" as much as it's about counting the cost, taking up our cross daily and following our Lord wherever he leads and down whichever path he chooses.  Even though that path may be difficult, the truth and the reality is that we are not walking that path on our own or in our own power.  We have his promise that he will never leave us or forsake us. We have his comfort and reassurance that we don’t need to be afraid; he is the I AM, our Salvation, our Rock, our Fortress.  Nothing or no one has the power to snatch us from the hand of our all-powerful, all-loving, Almighty Father.

Trust in him at all times, O people;

  pour out your heart before him;

  God is a refuge for us. (Psalm 62:8)