Struggling

Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”  (Genesis 32:28 ESV)


Jacob's continual struggles with people in his life led him, ultimately, to a long, drawn out struggle with God.  He strives/wrestles all night long, even being bold enough to say he won't let go until God blesses him.  God didn't strike Jacob dead, or turn his back and walk away from this man who would "dare" to struggle against God; instead, not only did he bless this man but changed his name, reflecting the transformation of Jacob's character.  Jacob is left awed, changed to his very core - a better man for having engaged in the struggle.  Jacob came to know his God in a way he may never have without this "face to face" encounter.  He was mightily blessed.  He was never the same again.


To be sure, God is, indeed, all powerful and could have blown Jacob off the face of the earth for his audacity - but he didn't.  Why, then, when we're loaded with questions and frustrations at the way things are going in life, can we not take it to God and struggle through it with him?  We grumble about God and his apparent way of "handling" situations but seldom go to him.  I'm pretty sure we can be confident in the fact that God can handle whatever we bring to him.  The real question is whether or not we trust him to still love us - to bless us - rather than turning his back on us.  Do we trust his Fatherly heart towards us?  Do we REALLY believe he cares enough to see all that "stuff" we're carrying around?  


There's a beautiful prayer in the Book of Common Prayer that in the Anglican tradition is prayed every Sunday morning:  "Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen."  How silly to think we're hiding our anger or disappointment from God; that he doesn't already know those things we think are kept hidden.  


I love that we have Jacob's story to see how he hung on in his struggles demanding a blessing from God.  God didn't turn away.  He saw straight into the heart of this man, loved him, blessed him, called out from within him the man he was created to be:  Israel.  


Jesus did the same thing with Peter.  Remember, after Peter's denial, how Jesus restored him by the Sea of Galilee.  The first hint Peter probably had that the resurrected Jesus was up to something was when he came on shore from his fishing boat and saw a charcoal fire burning --- a charcoal fire just like the one that was burning on the night he denied his Lord those three times.  

• "Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing and warming themselves. Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself."  (John 18:18 ESV)  
• "When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread.  (John 21:9 ESV)

Then Jesus asks Simon (using Peter's "old" name/character) three times about his love for his Lord and then charges him to feed his (Jesus') sheep.  Jesus sees in this bumbling, sinful, foot-in-mouth man, a shepherd - one who will also lay down his life for the sheep Jesus is leaving in his care.  What a transformation and what a blessing Peter received.  Peter, also, survived his struggles with God, walked away a new man - a transformed, blessed, and re-named man.  Like Jacob, he came to know God in a way he may never have without this "face to face" encounter.  He, too, was mightily blessed and was never the same again.


We can trust our Father to handle our struggles, our deepest secret thoughts and fears; and we can come away from our "encounter" having seen our God in a way we may have never expected or known before.  We will be blessed, transformed, and perhaps "re-named".